“Do it Scared” is the title of a new book by Ruth Soukup. She describes how to “find the courage to face your fears, overcome adversity, and create a life you love”.
Ruth’s book will be available May 21st, 2019 but you can preorder it on Amazon. At the conference, she gave us the first 3 chapters of her book. I especially liked these opening remarks in her introduction:
“…fear can also be an invisible chain that ties us down and keeps us stuck. Instead of keeping us safe, it paralyzes us and prevents us from moving forward, from taking risks or putting ourselves out there, from having the courage to follow our dreams and create a life we love. The very instinct designed to protect us also holds us back.“
Ruth then goes on to explain the Fear Archetypes, Principles of Courage and Courage in Action. She compares the difference between making mistakes and feeling regret:
“Because while the fear of failure is very real, it is clear that the temporary pain of making a mistake is nothing close to the lingering and haunting feeling that you could have been or done something more. Mistakes only hurt for a little while, but regret could follow you for the rest of your life.“
Check out the Do it Scared podcast to learn more about Ruth and her message. She interviews guests about how they have pushed through their fears to find success in their lives and businesses.
Yoshie is a scared pup!
I was reminded of Ruth’s words when I took my dog to the groomer. His name is Yoshie and he absolutely hates getting his hair cut. But as you can see from the video below, his hair gets a bit overwhelming to the point where he can’t even see.
He knows that every time he gets in the car it’s either to go to the groomer or to the vet. Neither one is a very pleasant experience for him. And as you can see in the video below, he is shaking and scared!
The funny thing is that when he comes home he looks like a different dog! And he knows he looks good and appreciates all the attention he gets. Even his back scratches feel better. Check out this picture of our newly groomed Yoshie:
The Chains of Fear Hold Us Back
My youngest daughter Victoria attends Capernwray in New Zealand. She recently wrote a paper for one of her classes entitled, “How do we receive grace when we don’t believe we deserve it?”. She too talks about how our own self imposed chains keep us from living the life God has for us:
“Grace is not something we deserve at all, but out of sheer love, He gives it to us. It is the one thing that can free us from the slavery we hold ourselves in so that we can live the true resurrected life of Christ. Will I let go of my chains and my self-condemnation and step out from the grave into a new life?“
Some of the self-condemnation I’ve experienced the past few years was due to the death of my son, Joshua. I didn’t feel like God’s grace was enough for me. I wanted to punish myself by not addressing my pain of loss, but rather avoiding it. I isolated myself and threw myself into my work, a self-imposed prison sentence in my office.
I tried to stay busy every day of the week and work was a great outlet for me. “At least I didn’t take drugs or drink myself into a stupor”, I thought to myself. Solitary confinement isn’t supposed to be an indulgent fleshly experience, but in a way, it was a sick form of indulgence as I flagellated myself daily with abusive words – “You were a terrible father! Your son died because of you! You were the leader of your family and your son needed you!”
For years, Joshua and I talked about going skydiving when he turned 18 (the minimum age to sign the waiver). Well, when he was old enough, we didn’t have the money so we put it off. And, then he was gone. He died at the age of 19 1/2 years old.
After his death, I had this compelling desire to do a memorial jump to honor and remember him.
First I had to lose about 10 pounds to be less than the 220-pound maximum weight limit requirement of Skydive Carolina. I barely squeaked by (I also didn’t have a beard at the time):
Check out this video to see one of my #DoItScared moments.
Wow! When I look back and remember that moment I am flooded with emotions. It took a lot of bravery for me to not only jump from an airplane but also to face my loss and grief but it was so worth it. I will always look back and cherish this moment. Even though I couldn’t do it with my son, I felt like he was with me in spirit.
My wife is also a blogger and she wrote a post last year on her blog about How to Be Brave and Overcome Your Fears. She shares a #DoItScared moment that gives a little more of our story along with some lessons learned and practical information if you are interested in learning more.
What about you?
Is there is something you are so afraid of facing that it is holding you back? Have you noticed your fear of that one thing increasing? Maybe it is time for YOU to #DoItScared!
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